“Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights the way.” ~Anonymous

Passion. That is a new word for me these days. Don’t get me wrong, I love the path I originally chose in my life and all the wonderful people and experiences that path brought me. I have always been a person who aspires to have purpose, however, I haven’t always had passion. I don’t think I even realized my passion was missing until just a few years ago. 

Let me start from the beginning…

I grew up in Brantford, Ontario, Canada; Home of Wayne Gretzky and Alexander Graham Bell. It is a smaller city with few distractions, at least for me when I was younger. My parents were both physicians and I inherited their knack for being focussed and hard working. Although my parents never insisted I follow in their footsteps, it seemed the perfect choice for me to pursue the health sciences, as I did enjoy maths and sciences; It was something at which I excelled. It was smart and reliable, and I was extremely comfortable being reliable and safe. So, I graduated with a Doctorate in Pharmacy from Ohio Northern University and had a pretty great career as a clinical Pharmacist. Ultimately, I even stepped up and owned my own small, clinical pharmacy, which was an unforgettable experience. That path brought me my amazing, supportive husband. The person, who above all, has pushed me to do things I never dreamed possible and supported me every step of the way. It brought me three gorgeous, hilarious and smart children. I was, by all definitions, happy. 

But then, my safe, reliable life changed; My Mom, my best friend, was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. Her diagnosis brought a dark cloud down on me. I felt purposeless and fearful for the first time; Afraid to lose her, watch her fade away and afraid of my own possible risk of having the Alzheimer’s gene. 

That’s where my new journey began. I needed to find joy. I needed to feel I was learning new things to stimulate my brain. I needed a new purpose in life. The end result was far more than I expected...I found passion, new skills, and a whole new me.

Music.

Singing was the very first step I took to find my inner joy. 

I still remember leaving my vocal teacher’s studio after my very first lesson; I had never felt so light, and free. I felt as though I had just spent the last hour meditating. I couldn’t understand why I had waited so long to finally take a voice lesson. I know part of the reason I felt this way was because I had found the perfect mentor for me. My voice teacher was exactly what I needed to open up, be vulnerable, and find the voice I didn’t even know I had. That voice has blossomed and grown. I found myself willingly stepping into a world of performing, auditioning and now, songwriting. I am a fairly introverted person and a self-critic, to a fault. But, here I was putting my most vulnerable self out for all to see and hear. It has been liberating and rewarding. Fittingly, my first song, Nothing At All, is about the sadness, guilt and ultimate acceptance I have felt following my mom’s diagnosis. In essence, it is a song about loss and how each of us will carry a piece of a past relationship forward on all of our journeys. I can’t wait to see where the music continues to lead me.

Art.

Painting started out as just a hobby; an adult paint class I decided to attend with a friend. I learned that while I enjoyed the class immensely, and might even have a talent for painting, I am also a very organized “Type A” person. Painting required me to let go and trust it would turn out if I persisted. Also, that it is more than okay if the finished product didn’t look exactly like what I had originally intended to accomplish. It could still be great even if it’s different. 

I came home after that first class and set about creating a piece for our newly decorated living room. I think I surprised myself at how much I loved it, not only the new piece of art, but the process itself. Seeing a blank canvas turn into something beautiful and interesting, a conversation piece, was incredibly satisfying.  So, I created another for our kitchen, and one more for our bathroom. What was originally just a past-time became my passion, my art. 

So here I am today: Pharmacist turned artist and singer. I would have never believed that phrase to be possible. I know my mom would be proud, and only she could have had such a hand in my success, without even knowing it. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way now: Creative, messy and full of passion.

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